Whirlwind

It has been an insane few months. We've lived in 4 places since my last post and are settling in the 4th place. E and I both started new jobs and Charlie bear started daycare. 

Sorry for the delay

This is a long time coming and I'm sorry for disappearing! With school, work, Charlie, Eric changing jobs, packing and moving I haven't had a spare moment!

Charlie has been needier than usual this week and I think all the changes are the culprit. He just wants to make sure he isn't something that goes away-- or that I'll go away, never to be seen again. At least we moved someplace he's already comfortable with and it's not yet another change. Kids are resilient, sure, but he is still a kid with no means of communication, so when he's stressed all he can do is cling and cry.

He's nearly done teething so that's a blessing; he was growing two or three at a time for a while and it was really hurting him. He's really putting his new teeth to the test because he's eating all sorts of  new foods and loving them all. He's still wearing his teething bracelet and necklace all the time and it's helping. 

He's getting so big! He's running and jumping, dancing and climbing. He's trying so hard to talk and sing! His hands and feet are so little but at the same time so big!

Toddler bed mistep?

We recently dropped Charlie's bed down to the lowest level and thought "why don't we just convert it to the toddler bed setting so he can get used to it?" Like most great ideas, it was better in theory. 

In his crib, Charlie would sleep the whole night; now it seems like everytime he turns over he gets up and can't go back to sleep. He'll get out of bed and go to the door crying or otherwise wander his room.  Plus, he moves around a lot in his sleep and he's fallen off the bed a bunch. 

We're thinking of giving him a week to adjust to the change, monitoring him via the baby camera, and try to help him get acclimated. After a week if things don't start moving in the right direction, then we'll put it back together as a crib.

Although seeing Charlie climb into his bed and hug his bear and pantomime laying down for bed is so sweet, I could totally put up with his night moves. 

Being a mom has taught me #2

That I will have patience beyond my previous understanding.

I did not ever think I would or even could be as patient with anyone as I do with Charlie. Which is great because it definitely spreads to others in my life-- some of whom I can always use more patience for. 

I'm constantly giving Charlie the benefit of a few seconds before I respond so I can remind myself "he's only 1. Do I really expect him to know what he's doing?" It helps me keep in perspective that if I don't like something I've got to teach him and lead by example.

I am part of the foundation for what his life will be based on so I've got to start by teaching him slowly and having infinite patience. 

Picking our battles

Charlie is: walking, working on talking, laughing, throwing balls, dancing, signing, running, learning all the time and being awesome. 

Charlie isn't: weaned yet. 

Eric brought up weaning Charlie and how "at this rate, we'll be breast feeding him till he's 2!". I personally don't see the problem with extended breast feeding-- he's only been sick once in his 14 months of life and he's smart as a whip. 

Park trips and swing sets

Today Charlie and I went to the park and he absolutely loved it! We took a brisk walk around the park and as a cool down for mommy, we pushed him on the swings while I did some stationary exercises. He laughed and laughed!

It's so crazy to think he's already at the age of enjoying parks! On one hand, he's walking, laughing and playing but on the other, he's still breast feeding and unable to talk. He's huge in my lap when I nurse him, but he still curls up so sweetly when he does so.

I love him so much it drives me crazy! I just want to lay in bed with him, play on the floor with him, and run around parks with him all day long. Leaving him for work blows and not putting him to bed sucks harder. I can't even think about daycare or preschool at this point. I'd love to be a stay at home mom indefinitely but I know that there has to come a time where he is socialized with other kids and I rejoin normal society.

Until then though, I'm gonna soak up every minute with my little man; I don't wanna miss a minute of this stage-- you blink and you'll miss something! 

Food fight

Lately Charlie has been really weird at mealtimes; spitting food out even though he's eaten about half of it or just not eating what's on his table. I know it's his independence and wish to assert himself but sometimes it makes me feel like I'm failing him. I want him to eat but he's not game and it worries me which makes me try to coerce him which makes him fight harder. 

Tonight he squeezed his food packet all over both of us and in a moment of frustration I snatched it away and put the lid on it. We stared at each other and I felt my frustration just melt away. He doesn't know why he's turning down the food anymore than I do; he's not trying to be malicious, I had to remind myself.

Part of me wishes he could talk and tell me what he needs and wants, but he's already so big so fast! I want him to stay my sweet little baby boy! I cried a little bit tonight watching him play with his dad; he was interacting and mimicking Eric, throwing balls and laughing aloud. He's already so big but he's still so small. 

Learning in leaps and bounds

Charlie is picking up on sounds really well and often sounds just like he's saying words. This combined with his walking and running is like he's a whole new baby! I find myself having to remind Eric and myself that he's only just over a year old.

Today it sounded like he was counting while he was walking and dancing around. It hit me that he learns from his environment so I dance and sing more around him when he's playful because he's more open to learning then. If he's feeling like having some alone time I don't crowd him with my silly antics.

I cannot believe he's already so big! Why does time have to fly?!

Being a mom has taught me #1

Being a mom has taught me that i can't wait to do things at my leisure because I have no leisure time

Weaning?

Charlie's 1 now and when I was pregnant all I wanted was to get him to this point completely breast fed. I did it! I made it! But now how do I stop?

I love my son and I love the connection it gives us-- not to mention the health benefits for us both! How do I pump the brakes on something I've done all day all year long?

What's a girl to do?

Our first video post!! For Charlie's first birthday, some friends bought him a cute activity walker...only problem is I can't put it together.

Wait, it's already been a year?

Charlie turned one yesterday and it still hasn't sunken in. I don't know if I'm in denial or shock, but it doesn't bother me in the least. I don't feel any different been though everything has changed haha he's no longer a baby baby, he's a toddler baby.

In the last year, I've learned so much about myself as a mother and a woman, about Eric as a father and a man, Charlie as a baby and my family as a unit. I knew I was always maternal but I didn't know the depth of love and anxiety it could take on. I have fears about things that could happen to Charlie in the next ten years or ten minutes but I always remind myself to stay in the moment with him.

Things I would tell myself a year ago:

You'll never get any of these moments back, so enjoy them. Even when it's 2 am, you're exhausted, Charlie is nursing and you're falling asleep. Just start cosleeping from the beginning and save yourself the stress.

He's a big boy, but don't let that trick you into thinking he's a big boy-- he's still just a baby.

You're doing a great job, don't worry so much. You take care of him, love him and he loves you-- don't compare yourself to others. What works for you works for you. 

Promise to keep up fail

I want to facepalm/smother myself when I see how long it's been since my last post! Haha but with Charlie's first Christmas and his first birthday is looming on the horizon, I've not only been a busy mom-- I've been what I call "mom busy".

Mom busy is when you're spinning a bunch of plates (metaphorically of course) and also washing them and doing laundry at the same time. Mom busy is when busy is too busy being busy.